1000 Ways To Kill An Idiot

For the opposite of this list, go here.

I have come up with this idea - I will come up with 1000 funny ways to kill. Read the list and think of someone you hate - a fictional character like Bella Swan or Dolores Umbridge, or what about an annoying celebrity, like Donald Trump?

I bring you... 1000 Ways To Kill An Idiot, or 1000 Ways To Kill (insert name of person/character you want dead)

LIST NOT COMPLETE YET I complete it as time goes on


 * 1) Get Lemongrab to shriek in their ears, "YOU ARE UNACCEPTABLE!" until their head explodes
 * 2) Hit them on the head with a hammer until they turn into a pancake
 * 3) Drop anvils on their head
 * 4) Shove them into a pit full of angry and venomous snakes
 * 5) Shave their face off with a razor
 * 6) Kick them into a mincer and mince them into spaghetti
 * 7) Decapitate them with a flying pizza
 * 8) Hit them with a bus
 * 9) Trap them in a room full of deranged monkeys with sharp claws and a big appetite
 * 10) Force them to listen to "Baby" by Justin Bieber until their ears bleed
 * 11) Hit them in the head with a water bottle
 * 12) Throw Donald Trump's hair at them like a shuriken so that it slices their head off
 * 13) Make them walk barefoot down a hallway full of Lego bricks. Now THAT is evil.
 * 14) Summon your favourite cartoon character to slice them up into 1000 pieces with a chainsaw
 * 15) Attach a sign to their back saying "I HATE HARRY POTTER" then shove them into a room full of walking Harry Potter encyclopedias and hardcore Harry Potter fans
 * 16) Make them choke on a fork like Squidward
 * 17) Beat them up with a spaghetti noodle
 * 18) Get the Gorilla from Spongebob to rip them in half
 * 19) Suck their soul out with a vacuum cleaner
 * 20) Give them a swirly (sticking their head in the toilet and flushing it) in a gas station toilet until they drown
 * 21) Send 1000 Waluigis to their house
 * 22) Get all 809 (as of Nov 2018) Pokemon to use a move on them at the same time
 * 23) Lock them in a cage with SCP-682
 * 24) Turn them into a piece of candy and give it to a person/character who loves candy
 * 25) Give them a Punishment Day and then make the last punishment shoving them off a cliff
 * 26) Set their hair/head on fire
 * 27) Fire the Death Star at their face
 * 28) Send an army of angry centaurs after them (Hem hem...)
 * 29) Allow Pickle Rick to beat them up
 * 30) Get Moongeist Beamed by 1000 Lunalas at the same time
 * 31) Feed them a huge jar of Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears... then they will die of... die-rrhea
 * 32) Give them their favourite food... except it's laced with an undetectable bomb that will make them explode exactly 13 minutes after consuming the dish. (Sort of inspired by this)
 * 33) Trick them into summoning a pack of Sea Bears.
 * 34) Give them a Barney Error which kills them.
 * 35) Get a REAL vampire to drink all their blood. A REAL ACTUAL vampire that burns in the sunlight and is weak to garlic, for example Marceline from Adventure Time, not a sparkling creepster who watches children sleep.
 * 36) Summon 1000 Roblox Babies from Adopt And Raise A Cute Baby to their house. All the diapie changing and MWA MWA MILKY screams will eventually tire them out so much they die.
 * 37) Put them in a pool then delete the ladder.
 * 38) Blow them up with a rocket launcher.
 * 39) Dump them off into a Hunger Games arena with no weapons in the middle of a bunch of aggressive tributes with loads of weapons. Oh, and the aggressive tributes hate that character/person too.
 * 40) Hit them with a baseball bat so that they fly off into the distance, then they will surely die wherever they land.
 * 41) Use magic to send them to Hell.
 * 42) Kick them off a tall cliff and then they will land like Wile E Coyote.
 * 43) Call them a megaclod, because of the power of Dorito, the best cartoon character ever, this word will make the annoying person/character you hate die instantly.
 * 44) Turn them into a cake, then throw the cake into a pit full of hungry aces.
 * 45) Get Toilet from Inanimate Insanity to scream "MISTAH PHONE" into their ears so that their ears melt and they die.
 * 46) Throw bricks at them.
 * 47) Drop a car on their head.
 * 48) Get every Mario Kart character to run them over with a Mario Kart.
 * 49) Attach a sign to their back saying "1+1=3" then Baldi will kill them for getting the question wrong.
 * 50) Get Susie to bite off their face.
 * 51) Strap a sign to their back saying "I laughed when (insert name of fan favourite anime character) died! Haha, stupid loser deserved it!" then shove them into an anime convention.
 * 52) Drop a fridge, a piano, and an anvil on their head.
 * 53) Cut them in half with an axe.
 * 54) Throw The Lich from Adventure Time at them.
 * 55) Pour bleach down their throat while they're asleep.
 * 56) Stuff them inside a pinata full of devilled eggs until they die from the stench of egg.
 * 57) Vacuum-Pack them in a can of tuna with nothing but the smell of mayonnaise.
 * 58) Put them in a paper shredder!
 * 59) Dump them in a pool with sharks, then add blood to the water...
 * 60) Turn them into Swiss Cheese with a machine gun.
 * 61) Shoving them into the kiddie pool. A kiddie pool where the water is suspiciously yellow.
 * 62) Run them over with a lawnmower
 * 63) Even better, send 1000 flying lawnmowers after them!
 * 64) Run them over with a segway!
 * 65) Concussion them with a frying pan
 * 66) Be forced to play Drop Ball until they die of hunger/tiredness
 * 67) Be punished with ONE MILLION YEARS DUNGEON!!!
 * 68) Get mauled by the Camp Camp Platypus. MUACK.
 * 69) Get hit by 1000 dodgeballs
 * 70) Summon Barney The Dinosaur to their house. Barney is a serial killer who will murder them.
 * 71) Force them to watch paint dry until they die of boredom.
 * 72) Trap them in a room with Jar Jar Binks, Scrappy Doo, Dolores Umbridge and/or Bella Swan until they go insane and die of being surrounded by idiots.
 * 73) Roll them down the stairs. Not just any stairs, THESE stairs. Then slam the door shut, and they will either die, or get lost and starve to death.
 * 74) Send angry Gods after them.
 * 75) Shove them into a pond full of hungry and aggressive piranhas.
 * 76) Trap them in a room full of noisy and crying little kids. The sound will make anyone's head explode immediately.
 * 77) Turn them a tennis ball, then transport them into Mario Tennis.
 * 78) Turn them into a tennis ball that tastes like cake, then transport them into Mario Tennis Aces.
 * 79) Send these guys after your victim.
 * 80) Shave off their hair then make it into a smoothie. If they have a bad hairstyle, the smoothie will kill them. They won't ever have good or even average hair because annoying characters/people ALWAYS have bad hair.
 * 81) Shoot them with a water pistol, so it looks like they're peed themselves. Dump them in front of a crowd of people, then they will die of embarrassment.
 * 82) Throw a couch at them
 * 83) Shove them down a bottomless pit to Hell
 * 84) Send them in an elevator that goes up higher than Mount Everest so that their heads explode.
 * 85) Tie them to a train rail, then wait for the Hogwarts Express to come and run them over.
 * 86) Get a giant pencil, shout "ME HOY MINOY!" then erase them. Forever.
 * 87) Send Wormy after them. The Wormy Close-ups should scare them out of their pants.
 * 88) Push them into a Jurassic Park dinosaur enclosure full of hungry raptors. And not good raptors like Blue, I mean raptors that will kill humans
 * 89) Yell "THINGS ARE GONNA GET CRAZY" at them.
 * 90) Make them listen to nails on a chalkboard until their ears explode.
 * 91) Hire a bunch of very strong people/characters to beat them up.
 * 92) Hire a bunch of very smart people/characters to trick them into beating themselves up.
 * 93) Flush them down a toilet, then they will suffocate in the sewers.
 * 94) Send a huge army of Dementors after them. If they have a wand, steal it away so they cannot attempt to cast a Patronus.
 * 95) Act out Dirty Dan vs Pinhead Larry with a friend, except direct all your attacks on the character/person you hate instead of on your friend.
 * 96) Shove them into a plane turbine
 * 97) Shove them into a blender
 * 98) Make them watch a stupid sitcom full of laugh tracks and annoying characters until their head explodes. If they are a stupid character from a stupid sitcom, then get you and some fictional characters you like to raid the show and chop off all their heads with chainsaws.
 * 99) Lock them in a room full of loaded mousetraps.
 * 100) Gather up every single toilet on Earth, then drop all those toilets on them at the same time.
 * 101) Lock them in a washing machine, then turn it on. Good riddance!
 * 102) Give them a super spice potion from Adventure Time.
 * 103) Get Mario and Luigi to stomp on their head.
 * 104) Get every Mario character to stomp on their head.
 * 105) Send them to Super Smash then get every Smash character to smash their head in.
 * 106) Smack them with a giant fly swatter.
 * 107) Lock them in a room.
 * 108) Get a group of characters/people you hate, lock them in a room, somehow get them into an argument over something, for example, the last donut. It will get to the point where they will bicker themselves to death, with all of them dying in a Hunger Games showdown.
 * 109) Make them vote between Hillary and Donald. Their brain will explode from the stupidity of both Mad Lady and Orange Man. If they ARE Hillary or Donald, they will die of MADNESS
 * 110) Shout "THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA!" then kick them into a volcano.
 * 111) Get Sandy and Spongebob to use KA-RA-TAY on them.
 * 112) Call them "meddling kids" then yell ZOINKS JINKIES at them so their face explodes, so their mask flies off, revealing that their true identity is... NOSFERATU!
 * 113) Catch them in a Poke Ball then burn the Poke Ball.
 * 114) Throw them in front of a speedy train.
 * 115) Have Buckbeak bite their fingers off until their finger stubs bleed to death.
 * 116) Turn them into Pink Gold Peach then put them in the middle of a Mario fan convention.
 * 117) Push them into a pit full of hungry bears.
 * 118) Send them down the Mariana Trench
 * 119) Steal all their V-Bucks then give the V-Bucks to Dennis, then Dennis will go and hitman out your victim in exchange for the V-Bucks.
 * 120) Hand Flame Princess a note saying "You are ugly -(insert idiot character/person's name)" then FP will go and burn them to a crisp.
 * 121) Throw them in front of a Hillbillies tractor. YEE HAW.
 * 122) Have THIS happen to them on Black Friday.
 * 123) Force them into creating Horcruxes until they stop existing.
 * 124) Stick them in a wringer, then freeze their face off.
 * 125) Stab them with knives.
 * 126) Haunt them with nightmares until their head falls off
 * 127) Get Todd Chavez to shoot them to death with a gun
 * 128) Throw them at Darkstalker
 * 129) Get a Meeseeks cube, spawn a Mr Meeseeks then tell it to kill you victim
 * 130) Summon multiple Meeseeks and ask them to kill your victim.

HOT SAUCE GAME
Get some hot sauce. You can play this game now. Take a drink of hot sauce for:
 * Every time you see a Spongebob reference. [God I know there's a lot.]
 * Every idea that is very bizarre and nonsensical.
 * Any idea that suits that character specifically. For example "Sending an army of centaurs to kill them" and your hated character/person being Umbridge.
 * Every reference that you don't understand (There are links on most that will give you some context... most... that's if the links don't expire/break. I will try and fix the broken links regualrly)